twisted affair
by fglqueen717
Summary: Bucky comes to american idol and realized hes gay and finds a way to coup with being gay that takes him down a dangerous turn. he learned who really loves in him and who just says they do
1. Chapter 1

AI story

The second stage is where they first met, they were married but when their eyes everything was true. Chris thought about his children but couldn't get his mind off of the blue eyed country singer. He tried to turn away but his blue eyes kept him drawn in, all he could he think about running his hands through his blonde hair and kissing his sweet lips. Bucky get up and started to sing "live like your were dying" his sweet voice made Chris sweat, his heart skip and him blush. He tried to hide his feeling but Kellie knew something was up. When he got to sing "Fade" Bucky started to feel the same way Chris did. When the singing was over they went to the back to the dressing room, Bucky sat down and took off his shirt and changed and got ready to leave. Chris couldn't help to stare at Bucky and wanted to run his hand down his chest, Chris took of his shirt and Bucky want to the same thing to Chris. As they both went to parking lot to leave Chris ran into Kellie

"Is everything all right. You were acting weird earlier."

"Just nervous that is. It is the real deal."

"I understand." he got into his car and went his hotel room where he sat on his bed with thoughts of Bucky lying next to him naked, he reached for the phone and thought about calling him and asking to come to over. He was scared what if Bucky wasn't gay. In the next room Bucky was having the same thoughts about Chris. He had left NC a straight married man and was now having sexy thoughts about another man. He fell asleep with thoughts of Bucky. The next day at American Idol they met again, this time they got sit together. as they sat there together for awhile Chris reached for Bucky's hand and held it, then Bucky put his head on Chris's shoulder that lasted for about 10 minutes that's when all the other people showed up and they had to stop. They walked into the dressing room when the big moment happened Chris and Bucky kissed and Chris got to run his fingers down Bucky's hair they stopped when Kevin and Ace showed up

"What's going on here?" Kevin said looking strangely

"We're just getting ready going through our songs with each other." They went into the bathroom and locked the door and held each other and kissing and having fun intill Ace knocked on the door.

"Why is the door locked?" Chris unlocked the door.

"Bucky threw up because he was nervous and he wanted me to help."

"I hope things are better."

"You bet." Bucky said smiling, they sat next to each other as the other contestants sang. Chris and Bucky sang twice and when went back to the dressing room when Bucky's wife called.

"Hey sweetie I miss you. How is it going there?" He couldn't tell her that he was in love with Chris and made out with him.

"I miss you too. Can't wait to see you." they went back to hotel but this time Bucky moved in with Chris, they sat on the bed and kissed they also ran there hands down each others chest, after that they sat and talked.

"What are you going do after this is over because we're both married?" Bucky put his arm around Chris

"I want you and only you. I fell for you the first time we met. We'll face that when we have to, so don't worry." Chris slowly kissed him running his hand down Bucky's shirt as Bucky lay on the bed in tight jeans and cowboy boots. He wanted to take his pants off and have his way with but he loved him to much to do that. They talked and kissed intill about 1:00 am so they get into bed and feel asleep each other arms intill it was time to go back to idol. They were both married but they both felt like met the "one" and they wanted to be together forever. No one knew what was going on expect maybe for Kellie but it was hard to tell people what going on. They weren't attracted to any of the other guys on idol. They wanted to get a quick make out before the show, but everyone was all ready there. They thought about going into the bathroom and lock the door but someone would know something was up. After everyone sang Bucky went to the bathroom Chris tried to follow but he door slam shut and locked before he could come in it. Bucky started as he held the razor to arm and watched himself bleed and he licked it off. Just thinking about what would happen after idol. He cut himself for about 5 minutes, he put his shirt on and came out and Chris and want to know what happened.

"What happened to you?"

"I started not to feel well. I thought I might get sick. I'm better." They both went back to the hotel and Chris's room, they both kissed. Chris went to take off Bucky's shirt and saw the cuts and got worried.

"What happened hon."

"When I felt sick I fell." It didn't hurt when Chris touched the cuts, they made out. For the first time pants came off and Bucky lay on Chris in his underwear before anything could happen Bucky left.

"I have to go I don't feel well."

"Stay I'll make you feel better."

"I have to go." He ran out Chris wanted to follow but didn't. Bucky started to worry and he just cut his arm. When he was bleeding he went out and brought Jack Daniels and back to his hotel room. He got drunk about the time Chris go the key to his hotel room and walked in just as he was being sick. Chris knocked on the door and heard him being sick and rushed in what he saw scared him. He rushed into bathroom where Bucky was being sick Chris took him into his arms and held him.

"Please tell me why are you like this." He answered him with a question.

"What will your family think of you when they hear about us?"

"I don't care I love you." After that they made sweet love on the floor and that made things right again, the next morning his wife called when Chris was kissing his neck.

"Honey how are things in Hollywood? I can't wait to see you. I love you Bucky." He paused thinking of maybe telling her the truth but that made sick to his stomach.

"I made friends with this guy named Chris and we're really close."

"That is really nice sweetie."

"You don't understand." He hung up on her and back got to Chris they just made out. It was a day off so they spend the whole day together Bucky also spend the day worrying about what his wife was thinking. Chris told him he was leaving to get something from his hotel room, Bucky tried hard not to cut but the pain was too much. He just sat on the bed and dug the razor into his arm and watched the blood drip down and knew everything was right again. Chris came back out and Bucky heard him open the door so he hid the razor and got back into the bed. Chris opened the door and got into the bed too, he started to kiss and touch Bucky all over. He got blood on his hands when he touched Bucky's right arm that made Chris worry but he didn't say anything he wanted Bucky to tell him but silence followed, Chris put his arm around him and held him tight.

"Please tell if something is bothering you. I want to help you." Bucky didn't say a word just put his head on his chest and smiled. After an hour of holding each other they started to make love which seemed to make him feel better. The next day they had to go to Idol but it looked like Bucky was feeling good, they drove there together. When they got there Bucky locked himself into the bathroom he felt the room spin and then he passed out, Paris heard a noise and ran to the bathroom but it was locked using a credit card she unlocked the door. She saw Bucky lying on the floor.

"Bucky are you OK." she saw his arms and got worried but that time Chris ran over to him.

"Don't worry Paris he'll be fine"

"What about the cuts."

"Don't worry." he carried him to the car that was about time Bucky woke up and kissed Chris.

"You had us all worried. Are you sick?"

"No I just felt funny. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"You worried Paris too. That OK you couldn't help it." Chris kissed him back

Bucky's P.O.V

I know Chris thinks that I'm sick but he doesn't know I use heroin. I know how worried Chris is. He doesn't know me, he knows the Bucky that I loves him and is happy the sad Bucky or the drugged out Bucky. I wanted to tell him but I know he was would try to help me, I just started and I'm fine. Paris shouldn't worry be worried about my cuts I don't think it is any of her business.

Chris P.O.V

Why didn't he tell me he wasn't feeling good and why didn't he tell he was lightheaded. I'm really worried about him. I know he's got a secret but he should tell me when he was sick. I really love him.

Paris P.O.V

That scared me when I saw Bucky passed out and I saw the cuts. Chris came up and told me don't worry. I felt like he was hiding something because since I didn't know them I didn't say anything.

"Are you ready to go back?"

"I still don't feel well but I don't know."

"Just lay here I'll be back." Chris went to the people in charge of idol that Bucky was sick while Chris was gone Bucky hit up just right before Chris came back. They drove back to the hotel by that time Bucky didn't feel well and threw up. That made Chris worry, he helped Bucky out care and into hotel room and Bucky ran to the bathroom

"Are you ok? You want me to help you."

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." Bucky took the needle and put in his arm and walked out and seemed to be fine. 2 weeks later he would shoot before the show and by the time he would sing he would feel sick. After the show he went back to the dressing room where he saw Ace sitting down where all his stuff was there and his drugs and he got mad and pushed him.

"Do know those are my things so that means I sit there."

"I didn't know I'm sorry."

"Oh you're sorry." He punched him in the face that made Ace slap him back soon they were both fighting about the time that Chris walked into room. He got into between trying both break up the fight and finally got Bucky away and they both left into the car then Chris look up at Bucky.

"Why did you hit Ace?"

"I don't know Chris I just lost it."

"Something about you is really different and you're really started to scare me, your sick and pale all the time what is up with that."

"I'm, fine don't worry I'm not sick." There was a long silence even when they got back to the hotel room.

"I'm, sorry I was to in your business please to speak to me."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to worry you." They kissed for a long time intill Bucky felt sick and ran into the bathroom to shot up, Chris opened the door slowly and saw Bucky doing drugs and shut the door in shock. He went online to the see the symptoms of heroin use and everything Bucky was going made sense and also scared him. Bucky came out of bathroom and went on the bed to be with Chris, Chris ran his hand down each of Bucky's arms and they saw where he had shot up and he just held him tight.

"Bucky I need to know something?"

"Anything for my love." He looked into those blue eyes that he had fell for.

"Would you ever leave me?"

"No you're my only love."

"That not what I meant." There was a long pause.

"I want to be with you forever. Why did this come up?"

"I know your using and I'm worried you'd go away from me."

"Don't tell anyone on Idol. I'm fine and I'll that the way it will stay. "

"What about the fight. I bet that Ace has already told someone." The next day at Idol Ace showed up with a black eyes and fat lip. He took one look at Bucky and stepped away he looked scared.

"Ace I'm sorry I never meant to start a fight."

"Look at me my ribs hurt and you want to say I except your I'm sorry." Bucky put on makeup so he wouldn't look so pale but he felt really sick, Bucky started to black out as he got up on stage to sing and that when he threw up on stage and all the judges looked worried.

"Are you ok? Do you need to go home?"

"I'm fine. I can sing again. "They didn't really believe him but he still said he was fine and walked away, after that he sang one more time. The next day it was worse he got into the chair to put on makeup and passed out and wouldn't get up, everyone was worried including Chris. He told everyone he would be fine. Chris saw the needle and felt really sick as he picked it up and put in Bucky's arm and he woke up for just enough time to sing. For the first time Chris cried thing about Bucky being this sick and passing out like that. He brought him back to the hotel room and he was still passed out after 2 hours so Chris took Bucky to the hospital.

"I need help my friend won't wake up he been passed out for hours now."

"What is name?"

"Bucky Covington."

"Age."

"27."

"Tell me all that happened."

"Around noon he told me that he didn't feel well and told me he was going to lay down he passed before he got the bedroom and been like this since then."

"Has he taken anything?"

"Heroin." He saw the nurse put him on the stretcher and wheel him into a room. They hooked up all these things and got him off heroin, he sat in his room on the chair and just held his hand

"Bucky please wake up, I need you so much, I love so much." He fell asleep in his room holding Bucky's hand tight, around 5:30 am Bucky woke up he saw Chris sitting there holding his hand.

"What happened to me and why I am I here?"

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?"

"No."

"You passed after you sung on Idol and don't wake up intill now. I took you to the hospital because I was worried. I had to tell them about the drug use. You have to stop using I thought you could die."

"I said I was fine and you didn't believe me."

"Did you know that I had to shoot you up just so you could sing? I love you so much why would you lie to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Yesterday you threw up and told me you were fine and you wasn't. You couldn't even tell me you didn't feeling well why."

"I didn't want you to worry that why I didn't say a word."

"When you don't you worry me more."

"I'm sorry." They both made out in the bed intill the doctor showed up to talk to Chris.

"I'm Doctor Jones I'm glad that you are up and feeling better. I think that you could stay for a week."

"I'm much better how. I'm going to leave." That morning Bucky checked himself out with Chris and went to Idol, when Bucky walked in everyone looked at him weird and also looked scared, he just sat down to get ready. After yesterday it looked like everyone was too scared to talk or be around him intill Kevin came up.

"What happened yesterday you scared us, are you better today?"

"Yeah much better, I just had a bug and I'm sorry if I scared you, I thought I could walk it off." He sat down and thought about being the hospital but that scare him off heroin, he took 2 needles of heroin when up to sing. He felt really sick and his right hand was shaking really bad. This time they were singing songs by The Doors, he sang "Love her madly". He went back to the dressing room where he picked another fight with Ace but this time it was worse, he punched him in the face and Ace punched him back. Bucky jumped Ace and punched him as he lay on floor, Taylor went over and tried get buck off of Ace but Bucky just punched him. He stared to kick Ace really hard, everyone just looked around to scared to anything. Chris walked in and couldn't believe Bucky's actions, he pulled him off of Ace. Bucky looked down at Ace's bloody face and felt bad, he reached his hand down but Ace wouldn't take it. Katherine and Mandisa helped Ace up and cleaned his face off, when Ace tried to walk he fell he seemed out of it. Katherine called 911 and went with Ace to the hospital. As Bucky and Chris drove off Chris wanted to ask Bucky what happened.

"Why did you hurt Ace like that? I know you're not like that."

"I don't know what happened. I feel so bad you know that."

"I don't know if Ace knows that." He looked scared when Ace looked at you. I bet you didn't see the tears run down his face."

"I know that and it hate myself so much causing that."

"Please tell me that the drugs didn't play a role in that fight." Bucky looked into Chris's eyes and couldn't lie to his sweetie's face.

"Yes I think they did make might. I know you want me to stop with the heroin but I can't." Chris didn't know what to say.

"Tomorrow what are doing to say to everyone and Ace about today. They don't know that you're high most of the time. "

"I'll handle that don't worry. I handled it last time so I definitely have a handle on my life. "Chris was shocked when Bucky said that, he wanted to say something but he know nothing he could say would make Bucky quit. It had been weeks since Bucky had heard from his wife and that made him happy, they went to the hotel room where Bucky lay on the bad, Chris knew that Bucky wasn't felling well. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked his long blonde hair as Chris knew the heroin was taking a bad toll on him. The next day at Idol Bucky walked in and saw everyone but Ace, everyone there seemed not make eye contact with him. About 20 minutes later Ace showed up limping his face was bruised and swollen and took a lot of makeup to cover everything up, Bucky came up to him.

'I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to."

"Look I need your shit do me a favor and leave me the fuck alone. You're an asshole so play all nice with me."

"You don't understand."

"Understand what that your uncaring asshole."

"No. I have to tell you something. Please hear me out."

"Fine." Bucky came to him and whispered the truth in his ear.

"Oh my god. That would explain a lot. Still stay away from me." Bucky shot up some more before going out to the sing but fainted before he got to the stage. He lay there bleeding for 10 minutes intill Taylor found him and tried to wake him up. When he woke up Taylor said he taking to the hospital and he said he was fine, he went to sing and everyone was looking at his blood drenched blonde hair, later he told Chris and they went to the hospital. Bucky lied to the doctor there so they wouldn't find out that high. When he they asked out his eyes and his shaky hands, he said he hadn't sleep in days and he was cold. He was doing fine intill he felt sick and got sick on the floor.

"Are you sick Mr. Covington?"

"My stomach just hurts. Don't worry."

"Are you sure. We are going to check that out." The testing lasted about an hour and but that time he had falling asleep, they told Chris they were keeping him for a couple of days, the doctor pulled Chris aside.

"Another doctor told me about 2 weeks ago he was in this hospital. I need to know if everything ok sir." He paused for awhile.

"He fainted today and hit his head, he gets tired a lot but other then that he's fine." He felt bad for lying but he also knew that Bucky didn't want them to know that he is on drugs. An hour later Bucky woke up and saw that he was lying in a hospital room and wondered what had happened and turned to his lover.

"What happened Chris?"

"The doctor wondered if you were ok. He talked about the last time you were here. I didn't tell them about the drugs. They want you stay for a couple of days." Bucky looked pissed of and went to get dress and walked away and Chris followed. They got into the car and Chris turned to him looking worried.

"Are you ok?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

"No."

"Your right. I'm sick of everyone, can't everyone just listen to me when I tell them I'm fine."

"I love you I think you're not fine. Tell me what's wrong and I won't tell anyone I promise. Bucky thought for a moment.

"Ok promise."

"Promise."

"I feel sick all the time, I'm always throwing up sometimes a little blood. I'm always lightheaded which why fainted. The drugs make me feel this way but without them I can't make through Idol. "

"You know you have to be careful. The next time you end up in the hospital they will make you still and then you won't be in Idol.

"Fuck them you're the only one wroth trusting. Next time don't take me to the hospital no matter what."

"What should I tell people on idol?"

"That I'm fine. I had to tell Ace the reason I beat him up. Saturday morning the doctor from the hospital called about Bucky and Chris answered the phone.

"This is Doctor Matthews that treat Bucky yesterday afternoon. We were concerned when he checks himself out. We were wondering if he could come back in for testing."

"He's fine doctor I don't think he'll back for tests."

"He threw up some bloody yesterday did he tell you." There was a silence over the phone.

"If cared about your friend you'd bring time for tests. Chris hung up to the phone. A week later Bucky had lost of weight and Ace's face was still quite bad and he was still limping. Everyone was worried about Buck but everyone was still scared so they didn't say a word. Katherine wanted to see if he was but he didn't know if he was going start a fight with her but she still went over to him anyway.

"Bucky are you ok."

"I'm fine why do you ask?"

"You look really skinny. Tell what's a matter."

"Nothing why don't go over to Ace."

"Are you sure." She didn't say a word he just walked away with a really pissed off look on his face.

"Sorry if I cared about you. I thought you were nice." He didn't answer back that was about the time he saw the room spin and ran into the bathroom and reasoned for his drugs but he passed out shortly after but he had forgotten one thing to lock the door. Ace came into the bathroom and saw Bucky lying there. He thought for a moment if he should help him, he tried to wake him up and he didn't seem to wake up and for a moment he thought Bucky was dead, he saw that he was breathing he punched him in the face really hard. He came out and said that Bucky was real sick. Chris was the first one to run to the bathroom, he picked Bucky up and took him the car about the time Bucky started to throw up blood this time it wasn't just a little, Chris wanted to take to the hospital so but he had to promised that he wouldn't. He just wiped of his bloody lips but kissing them and Kevin just happened to over see him was shock. Chris went back inside and saw Kevin and went to him.

"I saw you two kiss. What is that all about? Chris thought about telling him and decide to tell him the truth.

"Bucky and I are going out."

"I thought you were marred with kids."

"I am but I want to with Bucky more."

"Was Bucky throwing up blood if so I could take to hospital?

"Don't worry I will." Kevin you can't tell anyone what I told you."

"I don't tell anyone. I'm worried about Bucky because he looks so sick."

"He's fine stop worrying about him." He left after that pissed him off and went back to the car, Bucky was off in the bushes being sick this time Chris saw that throwing up a lot blood and knew that was really bad but he just put him in the car.

Chris just took Bucky back to the hotel room remembered how he promised that he would take him back to the hospital. When they got the hotel room Bucky went into the bathroom and shot up.

"Sweetie are you ok."

"You mean about early yeah you know that I'm fine." He passed out shortly and slept all night. The next day Bucky was so weak he couldn't stand but still got into the car and went to idol. He sat down chair and shot up two times before he went on stage, after he finished singing he felt wasn't feeling good so he laid down and took a short nap. After about Elliot went to Bucky to see if he was ok but there wasn't any answer.

"Bucky are you ok please answer me." He saw that he wasn't breathing and started to give him mouth to mouth and it scared him when tasted blood in his mouth, Bucky started to wake up just long enough to throw up blood and passed out again. He turned to Katherine with a worried on his face.

"I think we should call 911 and get him help." About that time Chris came over and saw Bucky lying on ground got a sick feeling, he saw Elliot looking all worried and went up to him.

"We have to talk alone."

"It's about Bucky right?"

"Bucky is on drugs and that why he got sick, you right he does need to go to the hospital but I need you take other hospital and check in under my name."

"Why he on drugs?"

"I don't really no the answer to that. Just take him to the hospital." Elliot left with Bucky in his arms and took him to hospital.

"My friend is really sick."

"I need to know your friends name and age."

"Chris Daughtry his age is I think 27."

"Can you tell what happened to your friend?"

"He went to take a nap and stopped breathing in his sleep and when I went to give him mouth to mouth he had blood in his mouth. He woke up for a brief period to throw up blood." About 5 mins the doctor came to see him and Elliot just waited in waiting room. About 1 hour later the doctor came out and looked worried.

"Did you know you're friend is on heroin."

"Yes I knew."

"That is caused him to threw up blood. He's really sick and dying if didn't take him now he would have died in next week. He needs to stay here for a couple of weeks."

"I didn't know that." After the doctor walked away and Elliot just cried thinking about Bucky being so sick, he went to pay phone and called Chris

"You didn't tell me that Bucky was dying. He really sick you need come down here right away."

"I didn't know that." Chris rushed down to the hospital and saw Elliot sitting in the waiting room still crying, he walked over to him and hugged him tight, Chris went up the desk.

"My friend Chris was just brought here I need to see him."

"On floor 2 room 203." He went to see him, Bucky was hooked up to a lot of things and smiled when he saw Chris but didn't notice he was crying.

"Sweetie please get me out here. I'm fine."

"No you're not fine your dying baby if you don't stay here you'll die in a week or two."

"What about our promise that you wouldn't take me to a hospital. You don't believe me anymore. I can't believe that I trusted you."

"I love you so much and I don't want to see or watch you die. You can't see that you're dying and just believe the drugs will make everything better but there killing you."

"I don't need you Chris just leave I can't lay here and listen to your bull shit when if you loved me you'd help me but not you can't." Chris didn't say a word back he just ran out crying, Bucky tried to get out of bed but fell and needed help to get back in bed. An hour later he just cried after thinking about what he said to Chris. He picked up his hospital phone and called Chris cell but got the answering machine.

"Its Bucky I'm sorry for what I said, I wasn't thinking. You don't understand the drug things. They make me happy and I can't see that I'm really sick but I'm going stay here for 2 weeks and get clean. I love you baby. "Bucky get voted off the next day he was in hospital 2 weeks later he got out of hospital and saw Chris for the first time since their fight.

"I love you baby and just time I'm not on drugs anymore."

"I'm so glad that you finally saw how you sick you were. I got your message I wasn't really mad at you I more upset that you think that for moment I didn't love you." The day was the American Idol finale and the day that Bucky and Chris were going to die. They walked in like everything was ok that things were normal. They get ready to sing and walked out to the stage to sing one last time for everybody. After the show was over they went into the bathroom and made love once last time and took the pills and hold each other one last time. Katherine went to the open the door to the bathroom and saw the lifeless bodies of Bucky and Chris lying on the bathroom room floor, she let out a huge scream and started to cry as she dialed 911.

"Hello 911."

"There are two people lying lifeless on the bathroom floor."

"Are they breathing?" She went over to them to check if they were breathing and cried more and harder.

"One if guys is breathing but very weak and other guy isn't breathing."

"You have given him mouth to mouth." She went over to Chris and tried to get him breath again but he wasn't responding."

"It doesn't seem to working."

"We're sending someone right now they well be here shortly."

"Thank you."

"It will ok." She dropped the phone and got on her knees and cried as Kevin walked into the room and looked at Katherine.

"What's a matter I heard you scream?" She looked at Kevin and tried to think of what to say.

"Kevin I need do me a favor."

"Sure what do you what?"

"I need you keep everything out of dressing room for about 20 mins."

"Ok." About 10 minutes later the ambulance showed up to take them to the hospital, around 9:00 am Bucky wake up and looked around for Chris room and saw and nurse and asked her

"I'm looking for Chris Daughtry's room." The nurse paused for a long time and looked at him with a sad look.

"Sir he died last night didn't anyone tell you."

"No I didn't know that." She looked at him.

"You must be Bucky will this is for you. She handed him Chris's suicide note and the one for his family. That when Bucky went back into his hospital room and read the note, he knew that Chris wanted him to mail the other note his wife back I NC. He left that hospital day and saw Ace when walked to the waiting room.

"I'm glad you're ok. Where's Chris is he ok."

"I just learned that Chris died. He died last night." Ace put his arm around Bucky and slowly kissed his lips and pulled away.

"Sorry about the kiss."

"I liked it." Bucky went in for another kiss and they stood there and made out in the waiting room, it made it made feel a little bit better but he was still hurting.

"I have to go back NC to get a divorce from my wife and get my stuff?"

"You want to go to CO with me and life together."

"I would love that." He leave the hospital with Ace holding his hand and went to the hotel to get his stuff, he walked to the room that him and Chris shared together and just started to cry as he saw the frame wit ha picture of the two of them together in it. He walked into the bathroom and saw all the drugs and the needles lying around and picked pick them up and threw them out, he saw his razor blades and put them his bag right before he slow cut his arm up. He took his clothes and the picture frame and walked out; they both drove together to the airport and boarded a place to NC. They showed up at his house that Bucky shared with his wife and saw her for the first time and get nervous.

"Bucky baby I missed you so much I'll glad your back. Are you ok? You look a little sick."

"I'm fine. We need to talk about something that happened during idol."

"Umm ok sure anything for you honey."

"I fell in love when I was doing Idol." She started to cry.

"Your leaving me for another women, I hope that bitch is worth it."

"It's not another women honey. I fell in love with another man. Remember that guy Chris I told you about you, well he the one was I fell for and loved."

"You're gay. I can't believe this, you tell me that you turned gay then went to idol."

"I still love you baby but now its different kind of love now. Please don't hate me. I hoping tomorrow we can go and get a divorce."

"I don't hate you it's just a shock. Sure we can do that." The next day when went down to the court house to file for divorce. They both told the lawyer why were getting a divorce and they signed the papers, they both walked away from each other when she turned and looked at him who was holding Ace's hand.

"Is that Chris the one you love right?" Bucky started to feel pain for first time since he got off the drugs 2 weeks ago and started to cry.

"Chris died last night this is Ace Young."

"Oh Bucky I'm so sorry."

"Thank you. Wait I was hoping we could still be friend and keep in touch."

"I like that." Bucky give her his new address and left the court house for the airport.


	2. Ace's view

AI chapter two

Ace's view

The first day the final 12 got together sing, Ace saw Bucky long blonde haired blue eyes in a white shirt and tight jeans and fell in love. When Bucky got to sing that made Ace's heart melt, he wanted to go up to him and say hi but Chris did it first. The day he wanted Bucky to notice him but he seemed to fixated on Chris the young rocker, after the show was over he went to up to the young country singer to talk.

"Hi I'm Ace Young. What is your name?"

"Bucky Covington, nice to meet you." The moment Bucky shook his hand his heart started to melt, he wanted to go in for a kiss but didn't on the fear that he wasn't gay. He just stared at his ass as he walked away. After Idol he went back to his hotel room and daydreamed about his new found love, every time he in lobby he saw Chris and Bucky holding hand which made him sad. He had Katherine take a picture of Bucky which he had framed and put on his wallet. Ace came to Idol and didn't feel well and sat down so he wouldn't get sick on stage and looked over and saw Bucky and that made him happy, Bucky looked back and smiled.

"Hey Bucky what's up."

"Hi Ace. Nothing is up with him what is up with you."

"I don't feel well. I might just go home."

"Sorry. I hope that you feel better."

"Thanks. He got and fainted and Bucky came over to him and kissed and put him in his chair. He woke up and noticed that Bucky was kissing him and kissed him back which lasted for about 5 mins, they saw Katherine.

"Ace that is sick. Why did you kiss me?"

"Sorry." He knew that Bucky was just lying and liked him back. The next day Bucky came up him to him and looked weird at Ace.

"Hey Ace I liked the kiss. Can we kiss again?"

"Sure." They went to the bathroom and locked the door and just made out, Bucky heard Chris and knew that he would be looking for him.

"Don't tell Chris we kissed."

"Ok. Do you like me?"

"Yes but I'm with Chris. I can be with you too and can kiss and anything else." A week later he saw a change in Bucky, he only talked to Chris and keep to himself and had blood marks on his shirts. Ace went to over to him just to talk.

"Hey Bucky you want to go out with me and kiss." Bucky just walked away without an answer.

"Is something a matter with you. " He just turned away and pulled out a razor and cut his arm 3 times not knowing that Ace was watching.

"Did you just cut your arm?"

"Yes and what's it to you. If I kiss you will you go away?"

"Umm sorry I was bothering you." He ran to the bathroom to cry hoping that Bucky would follow and apologize to him, but Bucky seemed in his own little world. Ace loved to listen to Bucky sing it seemed to make everything better. After Idol Ace went back to his hotel room replaying what Bucky said to him in his mind, thinking about why Bucky would cut his himself, he wanted to tell someone but he didn't because he didn't want Bucky to hate him. The next day Bucky brought something weird, Ace picked it up and tried it which made him really sick. He ran into the bathroom and threw up and couldn't stop in time to get on stage, Bucky went to check on him.

"Are you ok? I'll stay with you ok." He held Ace as he was still being sick when Ace stopped he kissed his lips, they made out and Bucky told Chris he taking Ace to his room. Ace was still sick and passed out and woke up in his bed with Bucky next to him.

"What made you so sick?"

"Something I tried. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you do drugs?" Bucky looked at him and lied and went into the bathroom and just shot up, he went to sleep and woke up in time for idol and went alone. When he got to idol Bucky was still feeling sick so he shot up and put his head down for while and when awoke he saw Ace.

"Hey what's a matter?"

"I don't feel well sweetie."

"Then go back to the hotel."

"I'll be ok don't worry."

"You don't look it."

"Make up will make it look I'm not sick." They both walked on the stage together Bucky was still feeling sick still trying to walk it off. When it was time for him to sing he didn't hear them and Ace had to tap him. Bucky got up to sing and felt the room spin and then he threw up and passed out both Ace and Paula ran over to him.

"Is he ok? Someone should call a doctor." Ace knew his secret so didn't say what was a matter.

"Yes he's ok its just stress." Ace got to Chris to help move Bucky into the dressing room to lie him down but that time Bucky woke up.

"What happened?"

"You threw up and passed out."

"I'm fucked aren't I?" he tried to get up and fell in Ace's arms

"Just rest baby." Chris got pissed and wanted to leave but he stayed for Bucky, Bucky tapped Ace and whispered in his arm.

"Chris Bucky wants to talk alone."

"Ok." He left quite pissed

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Tell them I can still sing but first come to the bathroom."

"Ok baby anything for you." They went to the bathroom and Bucky trashed his shirt and kissed Ace slowly, the two kissed for along time about the time Chris walked in on them and lost it.

"See what the fuck is happening here. You wanted to get me out of the picture so you could kiss him. I bet you love him more."

"Chris you don't understand."

"What like you really love Ace? What are you fucking him too?" Chris went to fly at Ace but hit Bucky causing him to hit his head on the sink and Ace saw the blood as Bucky lay there out cold.

"What did I do?"

"Just leave." Ace called 911 crying thinking about what happened to Bucky.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"My friend hit his head against the sink and he's bleeding."

"We'll send some right away. He kissed his lips and held his hand intill they got there, they put him on the stretcher and when he was off the floor Ace saw the blood on the floor, Ace rode with him the hospital. At the hospital the doctor asked what happened.

"What happened? How did he hit his head?"

"His friend Chris got mad went to hit me and Bucky got in the middle and Chris pounced him hard causing him to hit the sink with force."

"He got stitches and he had a concussion." An hour later he was still out but still made it back in time to sing. He told Paula he had a bug and didn't want to miss idol and they brought the lie. Ace took Bucky want to the hotel and Bucky wanted to what really happened.

"What really happened I don't remember? All I do remember is that Chris was and that's it."

"Chris got mad when he saw us kiss. He went to hit me and you got in the middle and he hit you and then you hit the sink."

"I still don't fell well."

"You should rest sweetie." Bucky got in the bed and went to sleep. Ace kissed his lips about time Ace heard a knock on the door and it was Chris.

"Can I come it?"

"Why?"

"Is Bucky ok?"

"Yes. He got 33 stitches and has a concussion. He's sleeping."

"I'm sorry does he know that."

"He's really out of it. Talk to him tomorrow."

"Ok." Chris left still feeling horrible about hurting Bucky and went back to the hotel room where he cried himself to sleep. The next the day Bucky didn't feel much better at Idol, Chris saw Bucky and was really worried how out of it he looked.

"What's a matter Chris?"

"I'm sorry I hurt you really bad."

"I don't remember so I can t be mad at you. I still love you."

"Are you ok Bucky?"

"My head hurts and I'm little out of it. I'm fine don't worry."

"Are you ok for sure."

"I think so. Ace is making sure I'll be ok." He started to have a dizzy spell and ran over to Ace.

"I fell dizzy. I'm going to sit down and rest my eyes so tell me then it time to go on stage."

"Ok." He put his head on the table and went to the sleep. Kevin saw the bandage on his head and asked Ace what happened.

"Do you know what happened to Bucky his got a bandage on his head."

"He had a bad fall. He still has a concussion." Ace told Bucky it was time to go stage, when he got on the stage he could barely find the mic. He just sang, everyone knew that his vision was off but his singing was perfect. After the show he was so tired he just feel asleep, Ace woke him up so they could get going.

"How do you feel Bucky?"

"My head is pounding I'm really tired."

"Don't worry honey we'd be there soon." He put his arm around Bucky as he drove to hotel, when they got there Ace had to help Bucky out of the car. When they got to the room Bucky passed out to do his spells from his fall. Ace was worried and he got back into the car and drove to the hospital.

"My name is Ace Young and I was here yesterday with my friend Bucky who fell." The doctor who treated him came to the waiting room when he saw Bucky.

"He is ok."

"I'm not sure he's having dizzy and fainting spells and wants to sleep."

"Let me take a look at him." They put him on the stretcher and on a bed. They saw that he head needed to be rebandaged and he was still bleeding a little.

"Mr. Young did you notice any blood on the pillow?"

"No I didn't is that bad?"

"We don't think so we just give him more stitches." Bucky woke up and saw that he in the hospital, the doctor went over to him.

"What's been going with your head since you fell yesterday?"

"My head really hurts. I'm dizzy all and lightheaded all the time. I can't see straight. I cat remember what happened yesterday after the fall."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" The doctor held up 2.

"4."

"I want him to stay here overnight so we can run some tests." Bucky didn't say a word he just fell asleep again, Ace told the doctor that he was staying. The next day Ace took Bucky back to idol he was still sick

"Ace I feel like I'm going throw up. I don't want to get sick on stage again.

"Just lay down. You're getting sick because of the fall." He slept for 15 mins and got up and went to the stage and sung without anything happening. The moment it was over he knew was going to be and ran out the door and threw up. He went back and saw Chris but didn't go up to him he just walked away. Chris walked to him with a worried look on face.

"Are you really ok?"

"If you don't count being tired, my heading hurting, blurred vision, dizzy and lightheaded, throwing up. Then yes I'm fine.

"Let me say once again how sorry I am for hurting you."

"I know. Are sad that I'm with Ace?" There was a big pause between the two of them.

"Yeah but I also understand that he's taking care of you." Around that time Bucky grabbed his head and fell to the ground, Chris was worried and in shock.

"Bucky wake up please. Ace please come over here."

"Why?"

"It's Bucky he's hurt and he fainted." Ace came running to Bucky's aid they both picked him up and carried him outside and put him on grass, Ace was sure he wasn't bleeding.

"Bucky wake up honey." There was no response that made Ace worried.

"You need to wake up honey." He waited for to wake up, Chris turned to Ace.

"Does this happen a lot with him?"

"Yeah but not his bed." About that time Bucky woke up and looked at both of them wondering what happened. About 2 weeks later Ace noticed Bucky was quite skinny and very pale.

"Honey are ok?" Bucky just walked away Ace followed and saw him cut up his arm while shooting heroin, Bucky just watched himself bleed. Ace walked up to him and Bucky tried to hide what he was doing but Ace knew it.

"Why are you doing drugs?"

"Does it matter? Just go and leave me alone."

"Let me help you." That when they got into a fight. After the Ace was rushed to the hospital because of face wound and Bucky took his razor and slit his left wrist and passed out to lack of blood, when he woke up he was in the hospital and heard the doctors talking about him. He tried to up and found he was tied to the bed.

"What is going on? Get me out this."

"You're tied down so you won't hurt yourself."

"Get me the fuck out these." Bucky just un tied himself and went looking for Ace and went into his room and went up to him.

"I'm sorry honey, you know I love you with all my heart. I don't like when you tell what I'm doing is wrong."

"I'm sorry. What happened to your wrist?"

"I slit it after I hurt you baby." They kissed for a long time and about they stopped the doctor said they could both leave.

"Ace lets pretend to fight so everyone thinks you're mad at me."

"Ok." The next day Bucky showed up in a tank top showing his bandage, he could hear everyone talking about it. He took off his shirt and put on long sleeved shirt for the show, Kevin went up to him.

"What happened?"

"That nothing my wrist just hurts that's it."

"Ok fell better." He went on stage and was singing when he noticed that his wrist was showing and went to fix it he was afraid that one the judges would ask about it. After everyone was left he went out and started to throw up blood when Ace found him, it scared him to see Bucky like that.

"Are you ok honey?"

"I'm fine just a little lightheaded."

"Don't worry it be ok." Bucky drove back to the hotel room when they there Ace looked really bad and passed out on the bed and slept for hours. Bucky sated to fell lightheaded form his head wound and tried to walk it off but hit his head again and saw he was bleeding and ran to Chris.

"Chris I need your help my head is bleeding and Ace is passed out."

"Let me look at it." He saw his forehead was drenched in blood, in wiped off all the blood and saw the cut and got worried.

"How do you feel sweetie."

"Still headed but other then that I'm fine." Chris got him lay down and he fell sleep, after two hours Chris tried to wake him up with in response and took him that ER. Chris saw him give him stitches and bandage him up. By the time he woke up and knew something was wrong and went to the car and asked Chris what happened.

"What happened baby."

"You hit your head and said you were fine went to sleep for a while and had to get head looked at."

"Take me back to Ace."

"The doctor said you have permanent brain damage and that means that have passing out spells for the rest of your life."

"Damn." Bucky went back to Ace's hotel room and found that he was now awake.

"Honey what happened."

"Hit my head again."

"I'm sorry."

"I was told I would have fainting spells for the rest of the life." Ace held Bucky close.

"I'm real sorry." Ace cried thinking about Bucky, he wished he was awake to stop him for falling and then he wouldn't have happened.

"Don't cry." The next day Bucky was nervous about going to idol with stitches and knowing he would pass out anytime. He just shot up thinking that would help and Ace saw him.

"Why are doing that. You that won't help honey."

"What do you know anyway? They make me feel better." He got up and looked off balance and he fell down hitting his head, he just walked it off he just had a big headache. He just sung like everything was fine and one realized he had another fall, after the show Bucky and Ace went outside to make out on the grass when Ace put his hand on back of Bucky's head. When he pulled his hand back he saw blood and worried.

"Are you ok baby? Why are you bleeding?"

"I fell I'm ok. Please don't worry sweetie."

"Please go to the hospital and get checked out. You'd tell me if you won't ok right?"

"Yes I would. I'm not ok, I'm quite sick baby but I'll be fine."

"Why don't you do anything about the fact that you're always sick."

"Baby you know about the drugs right. Well I don't anyone else to know and that means doctors."

"If you don't you could die."

"But I'm not going to die soon so don't worry."

"I love you too much to listen to that. If you love you'll go to the hospital and get checked out, just to make sure you ok baby."

"Ok will just for you sweetie." After the being at the hospital they went back to the hotel room and Bucky ran to Ace and looked worried.

"I went like you like you said."

'What happened?"

"They found out my little secret and wanted to keep me there but Chris took home."

"You look real sick maybe you should go back."

"I'm fine seriously fine." Bucky tried not to throw up but threw up blood on himself.

"See you're lying to yourself. People that are fine don't throw up blood. I want to take your side but I don't want you to die."

"If I didn't think everything wasn't ok I would want you to get help."

"That just it baby, you don't know that you're real sick. You treat this like a stomach virus. Chris can't really care about you or he would've made you stay."

"That's not true baby."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. What you want me do."

"I know I can't stop you from lying to yourself but stop lying to me."

"Ok you want me tell you the truth."

"Yes."

"Ok."

"You're right I'm real sick but I don't want to quit and if I don't quit I know that will die. Please help me."

"You have to back to the hospital and check in and stay there intill your better."

"What about Idol."

"You life is more important." About the Bucky left slamming the door and running to Chris who to seemed to know what happened.

"Got into a fight with Ace right?"

"Don't want to talk about." A week later Ace got really worried when he saw Bucky and he looked so sick, he knew that Bucky was dying. Before they went to into the idol building Ace took him outside to talk but all did was make out, Ace pulled away which made Bucky wonder what was a matter.

"Ace is everything ok. Why did you stop baby."

"Sweetie did you know the drugs made you really sick. You have top sop using the drugs. Please do it for me because I'm really worried about you." Bucky went over to Ace to make out again.

"Why aren't you listening to me? You think this a joke to you. Can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Look me in the eye and still tell everything is ok with you." Bucky looked in his lover's brown eyes and knew couldn't lie to him.

"Baby your right about everything but I don't want to get off the drugs."

"I knew you couldn't lie to me because you love me more." They both went back to into sing but this time they were holding hands which mad Chris really mad, he walked over to Ace and pushed him down. Bucky got into the middle again but Chris pushed Bucky which made him fall and hit his head.

"Why are you jealous, maybe because I treat him and care about more then you."

"I no I am not. I had him first so leave him alone."

"If he was happy do you think he would have ran to me?" Chris got on top of Ace and started beating the shit of him that about the time Bucky woke up, he saw that was going on and ran out crying. Ace ran after him but Chris tripped him, they fought intill they had to sing but Bucky was gone. He showed up just in time to sing, he still had tears falling down his check. After the show the fighting went on Bucky got in front of them.

"Stop it please."

"No Ace will learn to stay away from you." Ace tried to walk away but when Chris went to hit Ace with a chair he hit Bucky, Ace picked him up and carried him to the car and went back to the hotel room. Bucky had a huge bruise on his forehead and face, he slept for most of the night and around one o'clock he was gone to Chris. The next day Bucky was even worst he was just out it, Ace went up to him

"Are you ok baby?"

"I'll be ok." Ace knew that drugs had finally got to him, when he got sing Ace could tell his singing was off. After the show he went to him.

"Are you ok please tell me the truth?"

"I feel sick and tired. I'm going to take a nap and then I'll feel good ok baby." After 2 hours later Bucky look lifeless, 10 minutes later Ace saw Chris and Elliot talking about Bucky and Chris looked really sad. Ace went up to Katherine to know what was going on.

"What happened?"

"Bucky stopped breathing and is really sick. He was chocking on his own blood." Ace tried not to care he got into his car and drove to the hospital but he was crying to so much, he couldn't see the road and crashed into tree. He was hurt really bad and was in a coma for 2 weeks and when he awoke it was a day before the finale. He showed up at the finally and saw Bucky looked better then ever and went to up and hugged him.

"Ace where were you. I waited for you to come to hospital but you didn't show up. I thought maybe you didn't care baby."

"I did that day I was so upset that I crashed my care and was in the hospital in a come for 2 weeks, I woke up yesterday I'm sorry. I'll stopped loving you and you know that."

"Are you ok baby?"

"My head hurts a lot but I'm fine. What happened with you?"

"That day I got really sick and I stayed there and got off heroin for good. Because you Chris he told me if I didn't quit I would die soon."

"I'm proud of you baby. See you don't need the drugs baby." They went into the bathroom and stated to make out and that lead to hot sex, they both knew it was right and Bucky thought about his plan with Chris.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would do anything to be with someone forever?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean suicide."

"Are you saying you want me and you to kill each other?"

"Well something like that."

"No I wouldn't do that and that don't mean I don't love you."

"Lets just like love again."

"I'd like that baby very much." They made love 3 more times before coming out, Chris knew what was up and pulled Bucky away."

"You saying you love me so much that we're going die together, but then you bathroom fucking Ace. Who do you love Bucky?"

"Both of you I'm not choosing."

"You seem happier with Ace not me."

"I'm sick of having this talk. You know how I feel about you and you shouldn't question it ever." He walked away mad and back in Ace's arms.

"He still talking about us. He knows that we were making love. I told him now sick I am of this. I don't think he really loves or he wouldn't be talking to me about this."

"I understand unlike him. What did you say to him?"

"I that I loved you both and he shouldn't question our love."

"What should I do?"

"You should leave Chris and come with me. I know he doesn't love or care about you." Ace went in for a just and they just kissed that was about the time Chris showed up and slapped Ace in the face. Bucky got mad and got in the middle of them and just screamed.

"I love you both and if you can't see that Chris then fuck off." Everyone turned and looked at them but Chris didn't top fighting intill Bucky passed out, Chris and Ace went running to him by the time they got to him he was ok. Everyone looked worried and Kevin went to help him up."

"Take it slow I don't want to fall again."

"I have these spells where I pass out. I'll be fine don't worry."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you going out with Chris and Ace?"

"Yeah I am."

"I figured something was up, so they're fighting over you."

"Well Chris is Ace isn't fighting. Chris is jealous of the fact that I'm with Ace." Bucky went to be Chris and talk to him.

"Chris can we talk please?"

"Sure about what."

"Do you really love me?"

"Yes how can doubt that."

"The way you act and all the fighting."

"I'm fighting for you, this is all for you."

"Have you ever stopped to realize that all this fighting is hurting me? If you really cared about me then you would've stopped all fighting along time ago. I love Ace too and you have come terms with that."

"I can't baby and you have understand why." For the first time in awhile they made out and Bucky knew that couldn't die with Chris. After Katherine found them lying on the bathroom they were rushed to the hospital and Ace followed by the car. At the hospital the doctors worked on them for awhile they figured out it was drug overdosed. They give them stuff to the drugs out of their systems but Chris just was no responsive anything. Bucky woke up and was put in another room it about the time that Chris flat lined shortly and was pronounced dead Ace showed up at the hospital and went up the desk.

"Two guys were brought here I wondering if they are ok."

"How can I say this one of the guys just died the other is ok." Ace felt real sick and started to cry think about Bucky.

"Sir we haven't had a chance to identify them yet."

He waited an hour he went in the bathroom and broke the mirror and took the glass and cut his arm a couple of times and felt a little better. He went back to the when the doctor came in.

"Sir I can tell you Chris died and Bucky is alive and is sleeping."

"Thank you." The doctor started walk away when Ace stopped the doctor.

"What happened if you can tell me?"

Are you family?"

"Yes Bucky's brother."

"We figured out they were tried to kill themselves but the drugs to there one quicker. I think he died before he got to the hospital and your brother hadn't got the full overdose yet."

"Can I see him?"

"Not yet tomorrow you can see you when he was released tomorrow." Ace was happy both and sad, he was glad that his true love was ok and alive. He was upset thinking about Chris and how Bucky would react to the news. Ace asked the women at the desk where Bucky room was and went to see him. Even though the doctor said no, he walked into his room and saw him, he looked pale as he slept. Ace went to kiss his lips.

"I'm glad your ok baby. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I love you so much." He left shortly after that and went into the waiting room. He slept for a long time and he woke up to Bucky.

"Baby is that you."

"Yes I'm glad you ok. I've been here since they brought you here. They told me one of you dead and I thought it was you. I know the whole story if you want o know baby."

"Sure tell me."

"They told you Chris was dead when they brought him to the hospital."

"Can I tell you something baby that can't tell anyone?"

"Sure you know you can tell me anything."

"I only took 20 pills I couldn't kill myself. I realized what you said about Chris was true. You're only one love."

Did you tell Chris what you thought?"

" no but I think he knew but I think he still wanted to believe that I loved him."

"Baby is that you."

"Yes I'm glad you ok. I've been here since they brought you here. They told me one of you dead and I thought it was you. I know the whole story if you want to know baby."

"Sure tell me."

"They told you Chris was dead when they brought him to the hospital."

"Can I tell you something baby that can't tell anyone?"

"Sure you know you can tell me anything."

They left the hospital and Ace knew this was 3rd time he tried to kill himself. They both knew everything was right was they went back to the hotel room, where they lay on the bed and started to make love it was sweeter because they have to didn't sneak around.

"I love you so much Bucky and I'm glad I found you."

"You are my true love and that will never change. How come Chris didn't care."

"He did love you don't get me wrong but he was denial, he knew that you were sick but he listening to you saying you were fine and didn't see the truth that was right in front of him."

"You know I'm married right."

"No didn't know that. Does your wife know about everything?"

"Just that I'm with Chris about you, after I got a divorce we can be together."

"I understand baby anything to be with you." They next day Ace ran into Kellie in the lobby and they got into talking.

"Hey Ace I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"I was wondering if you would go out with me."

"You mean like a date."

"Yeah I have a crush on you."

"I have something to tell you."

"What."

"Did you know that I'm gay and seeing someone."

"No. Who are you dating if mind me asking."

"I don't mind. Bucky is my boyfriend."

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah he's fine, he upstairs in my room."

"What about Chris, he is ok."

"You can't tell anyone what I'm about you tell you promise."

"Promise."

"Chris died last night." Kellie started to cry and Ace just held her tight, Bucky came downstairs and wondered what is happening.

"Why is Kellie crying?"

"I told you about Chris." She saw Bucky and went up to hugged him she was smiling.

"Are you ok?"

"Just hurting that it."

"Ace I have question for you."

"Shoot."

"2 weeks you left idol and we didn't see intill last night."

"I was going to if Bucky was ok and got into a car crash and was in a coma for 2 weeks."

"I'm sorry you ok right."

"My head still hurts that it. I know that I got voted off the next day after the accident."

"What happened last night, if you can tell me?" Bucky started to cry and looked at her.

"Me and Chris were going kill ourselves but didn't got though with it but Chris did."

"Bucky what happened during idol with you because you were acting really strange."

"You can't tell some of this to anyone promise."

"Promise."

"I was on heroin that made me sick that you can't tell anyone. The passing out was because I hit my head to many times and that I can't help. I'm off drugs now and feel better."

"Well I'm leaving and going back home but here my address lets say in touch."

"Bye Kellie we'd stay in touch." She walked out hotel waving bye to each of them. Bucky went back to the their hotel room and just lay on the bead in each others arms and made out for 20 minutes, they made love to each other. Bucky was running his hand down Ace's left arm and felt the cuts and looked up him wondering why he cutting himself too.

"What happened?"

"When I came to the hospital and asked how you and Chris were, someone told me one of you was died. I went to the bathroom and cut up my arm of the thought of you dying. I think understand why you do it. When I did cut myself it mad me feel good."

"I'm sorry that for a moment you thought I died. I promise I won't ever leave you. Exactly Ace I have something important to tell you."

"What is that baby?"

"Ace Young will you marry me."

"Of course I'll marry you. I was going ask the same thing." They both signed the paper and got in two different cars and drove off. Ace and Bucky went to the airport but for they did Bucky mailed out Chris's letter to his family. When they got the airport and went to the gate to go to CO. they sat together and waited to board, they go in board and knew they were starting a new life together. 10 hours they arrived in CO and drove Ace's house, they went to the bedroom and fell asleep in each other arms. They next day they went to the Justice Of the Peace to get married.

"Ace Young do take Bucky Covington to be your husband."

"I do."

"Bucky Covington do take Ace Young to be your husband."

"I do."

"By the state of Colorado I pronounce you married. You may kiss your mate." They went for deep long kiss and this time it forever, they looked at each other and smiled with joy.

"I can't believe we're finally together forever."

"I'm glad we're together in married." They walked out justice of paper holding each hands but this time they rings on their fingers, everything seemed right intill Ace passed out on the sideway.

"Ace baby please wake up baby. Tell me what is a matter with you." after a couple of minutes Bucky took Ace to the hospital.

"My husband passed out and I think something is really wrong."

"What is his name?"

"Ace Young." They sat there for awhile Ace with on Bucky's lap, they sat Ace's name of called and Bucky carried to him a bed

'Tell me all that happened that lead up the fall."

"Today he was fine then all of sudden he passed out and wont wake up."

"Anything else lik hitting his head lately."

"He was in a really bad car crash 2 weeks ago and just came out of coma 5 days ago."

"He might be having problems from the crash but we have do tests." Bucky sat in the waiting room for a couple of hour's intill he saw the doctor come up to him.

"One of his problems is needs to take it easy he's still very weak from the crash but he should be fine." Bucky took him home and just slept and Bucky kissed his lips and lay down next to him. Back in NC Chris's wife was getting the mail and found the letter Chris wrote before he died and started to read it. All she thought about was how he didn't come and tell her his secret life at idol and why he wanted to die with that guy. She still understand why did what he did at idol and trying figure out if was the same person, all she could was cry and what was she going to tell his kids but she did what know about the guy he loved. Back in CO the next day Ace woke up and wondered what had happened.

"Baby I don't remember much after the wedding. My head hurts."

"You passed out and I brought to the hospital and the doctor said you need to rest. You're doing too much after your car crash and that made you passed out."

"I'm sorry for passing out after we got married and scaring you.'

"Its ok baby you don't need to be sorry. You couldn't help it, it's not like when I faint all the time."

"I love you so much."

"Do you remember much about your accident?"

"The last thing I remember is was screaming out shit and crashing. I got up for 5 mins and I noticed I was bleeding and after that I passed out. Then I went into the coma replaying what happened to you that day, but I keep thinking you were dead. When I got out of the coma the nurse was telling me that keeping saying "Bucky don't leave me" over and over again in my sleep."


	3. can't you see how much you mean to me

A/N I part lyrics to the Chris Young song Tomorrow

Ace ran to the parking lot got in his car thinking about his true love and couldn't stop himself from crying hard. He couldn't see the road so he swerved off the road hiding a pole. People just stood around the wrecking wondering if he was ok. He got of his car bleeding from the head but looked good. He got on his phone and called Bucky's phone but didn't get him. Soon after that he passed out and a man called 911. He slipped into a coma as he was rushed to the hospital and started to talk in his sleep.

"Where is Bucky I need to go to Bucky? I want to know if Bucky is ok." The doctor wondered why he talking to himself and who was this Bucky person he was talking about. The doctor looked at the nurse.

"You should go look for this Bucky person and see if you can found him for Ace." They wondered why he crashed his car and why he hurt so badly. Ace's face was all swollen and bruised, he had 33 stitches in his head to stop all the bleeding. He lay in his hospital bed crying over the thoughts of Bucky and started to talk again.

"I need to go see Bucky. Where is he? Please tell where Bucky is." As he slept he played back that day that Bucky had to rush to the hospital. He wished he had gone with Elliot. The doctor could tell that Ace was playing the last day he awake in his mind

2 weeks later

Ace awoke wondering what had happened. The doctor up to him to see how is was doing.

"Mr. Young are you aware that you were talking in your sleep about this guy. I told the nurse to check out about this Bucky. We couldn't find anything on him. . We don't believe he wasn't in any hospital." Ace didn't know that to think he started to feel sick. All he could think about was did Bucky die and he didn't know about it.

Back in CO

It had been 2 years since American idol and since Chris had died. Bucky had gotten a record deal. Bucky had written lot of songs about Chris and what had happened to them. When he was singing them in the record studio the guy came to him wondering that about the songs he was singing.

"I really like the songs that you are writing. Did you write them?"

"Yes I did every song." Talking about the songs made them depressed and making him think about the drugs again. He knew he had some drugs left from when he was in Hollywood. He came home and started to use again. Thinking how he could have save Chris's life just stuck with him. He wanted to cry but instead he just put a razor to his arm. He knew that all his stuff would break his lover's heart but dealing with it would break his heart.

A month later

Ace had figured out Bucky's little secret and that made him mad and hurt.

"Baby why did you go back to drugs." The cutting really didn't bother him.

"I feel guilty for what happened to Chris and they help me to deal."

"The drugs nearly killed you and you want to almost kill yourself all over again." They laid in the bed Ace wanted to know what happening to his lover.

"When Chris died wasn't your fault that he died and you need to know that. Even if you told him I bet you he would have done it. Please don't beat yourself up for it. You can't change the past."

"I know that but knowing that Chris died because of me and I didn't try to stop him eat me up inside

The next day Ace grabbed the drugs away from Bucky and he grabbed them throwing his lover down on the ground causing his arm to break. Ace just looked at lover like he was scared of him.

"See you love the drugs the more then more I and you hurt me just so you could get a high. I want you to get out." Bucky walked to Ace trying to kiss him on the lips but Ace didn't want to see him. He wanted to get drunk so he would forget everything that happened. He wanted to cry and go back in there to tell Ace who sorry he was but knew that Ace wouldn't want to be bothered by him. So he just the bar then to hotel room. he called Ace's phone hoping that would pick up but he got his answering message and he left a massing hoping that he would call him back after he hear it.

Ace this is Bucky I'm really sorry for that happened I never meant to hurt you and you know that. I just went crazy, the drugs that made me hurt you. It really hurt to know that did you I wish would forgive me. You know that I don't love the drugs more then I love you. You're the most important thing to me. Right now I'm going through a hard spot and the drugs help me and I know that you don't see it like that. But being alone with my mind is worst thing to me that when i'm on the drugs they help me forget. Please call me back I promise I won't ever hurt you again. He hung up the phone as he sat on the bed thinking about how he fucked up big time. He wondered if Ace would ever forgive him or would he be alone. Being drunk made him feel good then he felt sick and that didn't feel too good. He so fell asleep and that didn't make things better at all he was just dreaming about Chris.

His dream

"Sweetie are you ready for tonight like we planned we'll be together forever and then Ace couldn't get in our way."

"Maybe we should think about more clearly before we do anything we don't really want to do."

"I love you isn't that enough. Wait I see that going on here that Ace told not to."

"That not really it I love you but I don't end it to prove how much I love you."

"Don't back out. We're gonna do this." Chris walked into the bathroom." That was about time he woke up he was crying all Bucky wanted was for Ace to hold him tight and make things better but he was gone. Bucky just shot up hoping all this would go away but it didn't. He called Ace this time he picked up.

"Hi what do you want? I really don't want to talk you. Bucky please leave me alone and soon I'll want to talk."

"I just can't stop thinking about Chris and need you make it all go away. Please come here."

"I can't help you that is something is you need do on your own. I know that you're sorry but still excuse what you did to me. How do I know that if the same situation came up again you won't do that same thing?"

"It was one time thing. I can't believe you would ask me that or think that would happen again." Bucky slapped the phone down and just cried so he decided to cut watching himself bleed. The way he was feeling he hated to be alone, he knew Ace wouldn't talk to him again at the moment he got lucky that time. He soon passed out and he didn't think about Chris or Ace which made things cool intill he would wake up. When he got up he got a call saying that he would go on tour to sell his music. He thought if went on tour maybe he would forget about everything and things would be good, at least that he thought.

On tour

He knew he had to shot up to make it through the day and hoped that no other singer around him would see and tell someone what he was really doing. He wanted to call Ace and tell him that was going on but he thought Ace would found on the tv and hear him on the radio. After that he knew Ace would call him and tell him congrats. Right away he started to notice that he feeling the same way he did on idol. He wanted to call and tell but Ace would say the same things he told him when he was first on drugs. When got on stage he felt lightheaded and stumbled around. He felt like being sick and run to be sick he threw up blood but yet again he didn't think anything of it. He got on stage to sing and when he sung his songs about Chris he could feel his heart break and felt even sick. He knew he had to shoot up but not with everyone watching. Month later he was shooting up more then when was Idol and was getting sicker but the moment. One night he got really upset and got in his car high and drunk and drove around. He hit a pole and later woke up in the hospital and Ace was there. He could tell that Ace wasn't mad and upset at the same time.

"I'm glad you came to see me."

"Do you have any idea what you did? They told you were driving when you were high and drunk and crashed your car. You could have died or killed someone all because you got depressed. Do you have any idea what I would have done if you have been killed or hurt?"

"So you're talking to me again. I really missed you can we go back to the way things were they were."

"Bucky once again you don't get it. I love you so much and want to be you. I don't want to be with drugged up Bucky that is slowly killing himself. If you want to come back home and have things back to normal you need to get help."

"Ace I'm sorry for doing this to you but everything is fine trust me." Ace looked Bucky with weird look and just walked out leaving Bucky alone.

2 months later

Bucky was still on the drugs and like Ace said was killing himself. He was still on tour and trying to get himself ready to perform. He had shot up about 10 times before he went on stage. He would feel everything spin around him he went to grabbed the mic and started to sing and he couldn't sing right. He passed out it was just like the last time he was on idol. He got sick as he was passed out. When he started to chock someone had to clean out his mouth and help him breathe. He was rushed to the hospital. This time was worst he was coma when he came to the hospital. When Ace got there the doctor came to him with worried look on his face.

"Mr. Young you're his husband right."

"Yes."

"Well I have some bad news Bucky is really sick he slipped into coma after overdosing on heroin and nearly chocked to death on his own blood." Ace had scary flashbacks to idol and cried.

"That he means that he will be ok."

"Right now we aren't so sure. When he comes out of his coma we'll see then if anything will improve."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure." Ace went to see him he was lying there in coma. He was hooked up to so may things. He had blood hooked up to him that meant that he was lost a lot of blood.

"Bucky why couldn't admit you needed help why did you let get this bad. They told me that you might die but you have wake up first to see if things will improve. God I love you with all my heart. I'm sorry that i kicked you out but I had to do because you really hurt me. I don't want you die I don't want to do if lost you." It was really hard for Ace look at the one he loved with all his heart looking like that, Ace wanted to walk away but he afraid to that he would die. He just sat here holding his hand he got in long enough to kiss Bucky's lips. He sat in the chair and just cried hoping at any moment he would wake up and reach for Ace. About hour later some people to see Bucky who Ace never seen before he thought they were on tour together.

"We are worried about Bucky. You must be family can you tell us what happened to him." Ace knew that telling about them about his drug use might get him kicked off his tour.

"I don't really know. All he told was that he had a bad case of the flu." The truth was this was the first time in months Ace was around Bucky. He couldn't see that he hadn't talked to him in months. Ace looked at his wedding ring and wondered he need it again. The only person he very really loved was slowly dying and there was nothing he could do to help him.

5 months later

Bucky awoke from his coma looking around trying to figure out what was going on then he saw Ace looking so sad.

"Baby what's wrong please tell me."

"You overdosed on heroin was in coma for 5 months. I thought you gonna die. What is last thing you remember?"

"I all remember was that I was feeling really lightheaded." Two just started to kiss and hold each other Ace had never been this happier. He never wanted to let Bucky go because he thought if let him go one more time it was last time he would see him. The doctor came in and saw that Bucky was out of his coma and was talking.

"Mr. Covington do you know why you here and what happened."

"I had a drug overdose. I nearly died and was in coma for 5 months."

"I'm sorry for trying to kill myself."

"Can you tell why you overdosed on drugs?"

"I was depressed and the drugs were helping me cope. I know that that day I was really upset and took all the drugs to make feel better but I didn't feel good. How much longer do have stay here."

"We're see how you feeling. We have to make sure that when you get out of here you don't go back to using drugs. We can set you up with a therapy program where you can talk about that why you're upset." Bucky looked down at his arm and saw all cuts and knew why cut didn't know it went this far. Bucky tried to get up and walk to Ace but he fell and Ace had to pick up Bucky and help back on the bed. Bucky looked up at Ace he felt bad for what he did to Ace.

"I'm sorry I almost died and that hurt you. Baby you know that I love you so much. I know you kinda of mad at me that putting through all of this shit."

"I was really mad at you but I couldn't be that mad at you because I love you. I didn't like it when became someone that your weren't. When you get hurt me I get scared put even then I couldn't not love you. Please quit the drugs for good they don't mean you any good even you said that. I have no idea the pain would feel if I truly lost you ."

"I'll quit baby I don't want to hurt you. After this I won't use drugs."

A week later

Bucky went to back he had quit touring so he would spend time with Ace also he needed to time to just get himself together. He felt better then that he off drugs but when he was alone with thoughts things just go worse and he had take his mind of these thoughts.

"Ace I need your help. I'm thinking the Chris things and I feeling like I want to hurt myself."

"Baby I told you this you can't fix this. You did the right thing that night and even if you couldn't save Chris you saved yourself and that that most important thing. Baby I don't want to be depressed over fucked up shit you can't change." He got held Ace has he fell asleep this was first time he fell asleep and he had happy thoughts. He didn't wake up screaming or crying over what had thought about Chris.

A year later

Bucky was still an up and coming country artist and he were till with Ace and they were never happier together. But alone he wasn't happy and he knew that he had to "end it" to feel better. He had all planned out, he was gonna give Ace the best night of his life and then after making love he would kill himself.

That night

Bucky took Ace to real fancy restaurant then they were waiting on their food they started to talk

"Baby I want to make tonight special. I know that we've been married for 1 year but we've never been on a date."

"I love that brought me here. You know just being with you making me happy." After they ate Bucky took Ace somewhere that they could dance. Bucky put on the song "how do I live" and the two danced Bucky loved being in Ace's arms. When they got home Ace and Bucky made love about 3 times before falling asleep.

**But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time.****  
><strong>**Rock you strong in these arms of mine.**

When Bucky knew Ace was asleep he reached for the pills and washed down with bottle of "Jack" he put his head on Ace chest and went to sleep. The next morning Ace woke up and reached for Bucky he didn't feel right.

"Bucky wake up baby." There was no response so he called 911.

"911 what is your emergency."

"my husband isn't breathing."

"do you know how long was has been not breathing."

"I just woke up and he wasn't breathing. " Ace felt his pulse and there wasn't any pulse he knew that Bucky was dead.

"my husband is dead I just checked his pulse it was gone." He hung up the phone and kissed Bucky on last time on his cold lips. Ace went to the bathroom grabbed a razor and cut both wrists. He couldn't imagine or wanted to know that be like with out Bucky so he took his on life. By the time EMTS got there they saw both Ace and Bucky's bodies.

"What we have is suicide pact. " Two days later they had a double funeral and they were buried together. Everyone from idol was there even Bucky's ex wife was there.


End file.
